Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 16, 2016
Rat: Hello. I'm Rat, and I'm running for office. Man: I really don't' care about politics. The whole thing seems rigged. Rat: Wait. Do you like your couch? Man: Yeah. Rat: Is it bought and paid for? Man: Yeah. Rat: Well, so am I. Man: I'm going back inside.