Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 16, 2015
Pig: So why did you decide to live in the woods, l'il guard duck? Guard Duck: Because I'm tired of living in a world where we tweet our every thought. So I"m going off the grid. No more Facebook, texting, e-mail, smartphones. Pig: But what if it's an emergency and I really need to reach you? Guard Duck: That's where the pony express comes in. Guy on Horse: And I don't do smiley-face emoticons.