Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 01, 2014
Pig: Hey, Rat... Do you have to open a new bag of chips? There are three open ones in the cupboard. Rat: Yeah, but there's barely anything in them. Pig: Then why don't you just throw them out? Rat: Because as a genius, I must guard my time zealously. Pig: That gets him out of a lot of things.