Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 24, 2014
The world according to the U.S. Supreme Court 'Spending large sums of money in connection with elections... Does not give rise to quid pro quo corruption.' -McCutchen v Rec Man: Hi I'm a billionaire. Here is a large sum of money for which I expect nothing in return. Rat: I could not give you anything in return, as that would be quid pro quo corruption. Man: Of course. As an aside, sir, there is a bill before you now that I am very much against. Rat: I see. I will consider your position without regard to the limitless sums you can now hand out. Next. Man 2: Hello, sir, I'm Joe nobody. I have no cash to give you, but I would really like you to vote for the bill that is before you now. Rat: I see. Well, I will give your position the exact same consideration I will give the man who just singlehandedly funded my entire campaign. Man 2: Thank you, honest congressman. Rat: Thank you, valued constituent. That settled, they all rode away on unicorns to Candyland. Pig: So money doesn't influence anyone! Rat: Nope. Now have a gumdrop from the gumdrop tree.