Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 10, 2014
Pastor Porcupine: Pardon me, Rat, but I'm Pastor Porcupine and the church has asked me to punish you for taking cash from the church basket. Rat: Punish me how? Pastor Porcupine: Well, I guess I'd crash into you a few times and stick you with some of these quills, but I really don't want to do that because I think the guilt you feel is punishment enough. Rat: But I don't feel guilty. I need a filter.