Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 04, 2012
Pig: Hey, Goat, want to see an animated movie with me and Rat? Goat: I guess. But why's Rat carrying a book of Russian plays? Rat: Because all animated movies have sickeningly sweet endings. And all Russian plays end with someone shooting themselves so when the film nears its saccharine end. I just stand and read the last page of the play aloud. Thereby keeping the whole universe in balance. Goat: oh, that must be heart-warming. Rat: It is? Then listen to this...'And Ivan shot himself. The end.' Pig: Awww...poor l'il Ivan.