Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 06, 2011
Elly Elephant wanted one true romance. So she approached her boyfriend, Henry Hippo. "Henry Hippo, I want you to take a poetry class. And I want you to woo me in the language of Keats and Byron and Shelley." So Henry Hippo went to school and learned the poetry of Keats and Byron and Shelley." And worked late into the night on his own. And when it was done, and as close to the work of the 19th century masters as could be, he presented it to his love, Elly Elephant... ...Who, touched beyond words, took the work gently into her hands and began to read. Here are my wishes. Please do the dishes. Elly Elephant stomped the iambic pentameter out of Henry Hippo. Goat says, "This si the proposed Valentine's Day card you're sending to 'Hallmark'?!" Rat says, "Yeah. It proves true romance is not dead. Only Henry Hippo is." Pig says, "The world's lost a great poet!"