Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 03, 2010
Pig says, "Hello?" Rat says, "Pig, it's me, Rat. Listen, I just want to say I'll be home late. I got the 'friendly greeter' job at Walmotopia." Pig says, "You? Why'd you get the job?" Rat says, "Because I'm good with people and I know how to treat them. And how to welcome them." Man says, "Pardon me, but I'm looking for-" Rat says, "Yo. Big bones. Can you see I'm on the phone?" Pig says, "Maybe I should let you go back to your friendly greeter job." Rat says, "Hang on, Pig... I'm shoving a fat guy out the door."