Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 17, 2009
Rat's late night radio show Rat says, "West of the Rockies, you're on the air." Caller says, "Yeah, I'm calling from my truck. Just wanted to say that aliens took my brain." Rat says, "Listen to me, Sir?You're obviously a smart man, so they'll be pleased with your brain! That means they will return for the rest of your organs, which they will harness for military use! You must not let them get them!!" Caller says, "Oh, my gawd. What do I do??!" Rat says, "Drive off a cliff!" Caller says, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Man says, "The F.C.C. frowns on killing listeners." Rat says, "Rules rules rules."