Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 01, 2006
"Hello. I am Chi Chi Peron, preacher to the stars. I have been put here on Earth to judge and condemn others." "Leave me alone, Rat..." "Through these state-of-the-art headphones, I receive divine guidance as to who shall be condemned to a life of eternal torment." "Have you lost your @#*# mind" "...I've got some bad news."