Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 18, 2005
"So I heard that loser, wee bear, finally found a woman." "Yeah, but she's in prison, so they can't go on dates. They do like to write letters, though." "Dude, she's probably just looking for some sap who'll unwittingly help spring her from the can." "Ohh, I doubt that...it sounds to me like she really loves him." "...And like any birthday girl, I'd love a gun to go with my saw..."