Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 06, 2004
"Dear crocodiles, last week you killed my beloved cousin, Eddie..." "While Eddie may have represented just one more meal to you, I want you to know that he represented much more to us." "You see, Eddie was the smartest, most ambitious zebra in our herd, and we had all hoped that Eddie would go to a good college, and get a good job and make enough money to move the herd out of the plains and into a nice condo." "But no... You changed all that. With one carnivorous instinct, you wiped out the thousands of hours we spent holding car washes, having bake sales and selling boxes of cookies door-to-door, all just to raise money for Eddie's future college tuition." "What are you going to do to make up for what you've done??... For killing our future plans?... For killing our last hope??... Tell me, you destructive beasts!" "Dear Zeebas, We buy box o' cookies. Now we even." "Sigh..."