Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 11, 2004
Transcript:
Editor 1: Well, this guy has the shortest name. That'll save us headline space! Editor 2: Sounds like a *urp* winner to me. Editor 3: Agreed. Who's turn to buy a round? Man: Hey... the Times has named a front-runner! Anchor: Great! Now we don't have to cover those other guys, which will save more air time for my close-ups. From tv: And here's your front-runner... Woman: Oh, dear... I was going to foolishly back a more qualified candidate. man: We might have wasted our vote on someone who's not predicted to win! Woman: Gasp! Man: Omigawd... he smoked pot in college and avoided the draft! Woman: Well, so did you. Man: Yeah, but that was different. Obviousman explains it all! Hey, kids! Ever wonder how a candidate becomes the front-runner long before the primaries have been held? Well, here's the real pre-primary poop... First, the greatest minds at the New York Times gather in their special conference room to examine the various candidates, discuss their qualifications and determine who they think the voters will likely go for... from there, it undergoes scrupulous anaylsis by all of the television network news departments... then the toughest test... public scrutiny! Which leads to the final step of this media-driven process... destroying the front-runner.