Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for July 30, 2000

Transcript:

Luann lounges on her bed with Puddles while Bernice reads a magazine. Bernice says, "Here's a useful article, Luann: 'How To Tell If He Likes You.'" Bernice continues, "'1.He knows your class schedule. 2.He shares his sloppy joe with you. 3.He remembers your zodiac sign. 4.He makes you laugh in the library. 5.He loves the same music you do. 6.And the same movies. 7.And the same food.'" Bernice continues, "'8.He compliments your lip color. 9.He ignores the zit on your forehead. 10.He doesn't glaze over when you ramble. 11.He doesn't mind if you sneeze on him. 12.He knows where you're ticklish. 13.He follows you into the restroom. 14.He tells his buds you're a 'hottie.' 15.He lets you pat his butt.'" Luann looks bored and says, "Ha!" Luann looks sad and says, "In my entire life, NO guy has even done ONE of those things." Bernice continues to look at the magazine and says, "OK. Then you need this other article: 'Why Am I a Pathetic Loser With a Non-existent Love Life?'"