Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 31, 2008

Transcript:

Pig: What's the matter, l'il Guard Duck? Guard Duck: It's Maura, sir. She's never coming back...I know it. Pig: Oh, l'il Guard Duck. Guard Duck: I don't get it, sir...they say if you love someone, set them free...well, I did that, sir, and she never came back...ohhh, sir...what's it all mean? What's it all mean? Rat: If you love someone, chain them to a heavy kitchen appliance? Pig: Well now, there's a suggestion! Guard Duck: I want a girlfriend, sir...not a hostage.