Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for August 11, 2010

Uh-Oh! The driver is scary! In a bad way.

: (   Those flowers are not happy today.

Good Morning Supreme Leader of the Birdbrains Good Morning Fellow Birdbrains & Those Drivers

To heck with the speed limit! Get a drug test for that driver!

And his HAIR!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!

Officer: do you know how fast you were going? Driver: not fast enough, apparently.

There are faces in those yellow flowers…

Cuff him and stuff him..

Love the unhappy flower faces! And it looks like this guy’s hair hasn’t caught up with him yet.

Oh, like the face in the officer’s shoulder patch, too.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle? Driver:b> It’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid. Captain: Who’s car is this? Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Really? Ain’t that something? And I’ll bet the lying sun of a gun told you I was speeding, too, eh?

Pizza delivery or JJ’s!

Good Morning Everyone

Where are all the Toyota unintentional-acceleration jokes?

And his hair, MontanaLady? Heck his nose has blowback.

Couple of shrubbery faces but sketchy enough I’m not sure they’re intentional.

I can’t decide if that red flower has hair standing on end or if it wants to pistil whip the driver.

Confiscate his car. You can use it for “under cover”.

Am I the only one scared of those flower faces.? Don’t you know they’re out to get you? O Lord, don’t let them get me! Should I tell the cop or is he in on it too? I know, I’ll speed dial my shrink. He’ll tell me where to go. But what if—-Where are my pills?THOM!

Cops don’t generally like smart-mouths.

Officer: I’ve been waiting for you all day. Speeder: I got here as fast as I could.

Allan, I laughed so loud, I had to tell it to my family.

Those flowers sure don’t look very happy.

The flowers may not be happy, but it seems the profiles in the bushes couldn’t care less.

Reminds me of the fellow who was stopped a few miles south of Killdeer, ND by the cop, poking along a little over 20 mph. The cop asked why he was going so slowly, and the driver replied that he was just following the speed limit of 22.

“No, that’s the highway number, not the speed limit.” He glances over at the passenger, who is white knuckled holding on to the dashboard, grimacing and frozen in fear. “What’s up with him?”

The driver sheepishly admitted, “Well, from what you say, I just got off of Highway 200…”

The road can’t move, so its limit is zero.

No one noticed the star nosed face? It’s as clear as the patch on his arm.