Frank and Ernest by Thaves for August 31, 2015

How about “The of species – What we know and what we don’t know” ………………………..

Make that “The origin of species – and other oversights” ……

Darwin Awards Honorable Mention:

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M.so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.

Runner up:Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.

I guess that he didn’t toe the line. Bye.

And the winner of the Darwin Awards is…

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves… (you can fill in the blanks)

It’s still an evolving work.