For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for January 15, 2015

Go rent a Motel 6 for a few days.

that’s what grandparents do, make their own rules

How amazing it is that behavior that would have gotten you severely disciplined or at least disciplined becomes “cute” when your parents see your kids act that way. Saw that with my dad and my sister’s youngest one.

time for Grandma and Grandpa to go home.

Didn’t happen in my family— Grandma was stricter than mom!

Time to call Terminex.

Who here has never had cereal for a bedtime snack?

I won’t copy it here, especially because it’s kind of long, but Lynn’s Notes on the fbofw site tell a harrowing tale of her grandmother.

I sure was one of the lucky ones: Our big week long multi-family get togethers were always a relaxed blast!!

Michael, that cereal will make your hair fall out.

Whenever this happened with my girl’s and their Granny (my MIL), I simply told them yes, but I’m your Mama and you have to follow my rules. Now do what I told you to do. I started doing this when my Mom (their Grandmother) told me that my oldest asked for a cookie and was told that your mom said you couldn’t have it and my daughter replied “but Mama doesn’t have to know.”

So why didn’t Ellie remind them that she was their Mother and what she said over ruled Grandma? Then she should have pulled her aside and reminded her.

Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to get posted twice.

Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to get posted twice.

Who is that eating cereal? If Michael, why the huge bald spot up front?

Me. I don’t like cereal.

Lynn’s Notes:

When my paternal grandmother came to stay with us for 6 months, I was 16 and very independent. My parents both worked, so it was my job to get the dinner on and Gram’s appearance in the kitchen was “one too many cooks!” She had just lost her husband, was lonely and depressed, and my dad had invited her to stay. Having spent her adult lifetime looking after others, she naturally put herself to work — on my turf! From the day we set eyes on each other, we were rivals. Gram had my bedroom. I was sleeping in the basement in a “room” made of plywood boards and a curtain. I resented this terribly. I resented her teeth in a glass on my dresser and her clothes in my closet. I also resented being told what to do by someone other than my parents, and her criticism irritated me beyond belief.

One day I saw her fidgeting with the oven. It was a gas oven, and she wasn’t familiar with the way the oven worked. When I tried to tell her how to do it, she barked at me to mind my own business, that she knew how to operate an oven, and to get out of her way. Figuring this would be a great opportunity to see what would actually happen if you lit the oven the wrong way, I crossed my arms, leaned against the doorway, and watched. First she turned on the gas. The oven door was closed. Interesting. Then she looked for a match. She found the matchbox on the wall and took out a match. She went to the stove, struck the match on one of the elements and opened the oven door. Well… Ka-BOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!! The explosion blew Granny across the room. She wound up on the opposite side — sitting on the floor with her back against the cupboard doors. Her eyebrows were gone, and all the hairs on her chin were frizzled black. The best thing of all was the look on her face. Her mouth had formed a little “o.” I was thinking, “Wow! So THAT’s what happens!” It took a few seconds before I reached out to help her up, and a few more for us both to realize that she could have been very seriously hurt! With grateful relief, we hugged each other, and for the rest of her stay, we held a truce.

All of this shall soon pass. It’s not like they are there forever. Let them spoil the grandkids. It’s the only payback they have in life now. They’ll soon go home and have great memories. When they’re dead and gone, Elly will only have the memory of guilt about how she felt right now.

Maybe Elly and John turned out the same way with their own grandkids later down the row. We never seem to recognize ourselves when we do it. We just obsess when we notice when you do it.

No, your parents are getting even for when you and Phil drove them crazy Elly! It’s called, “payback!”

My grandmothers were generally pretty careful to go along with what my parents wanted. A couple times I tried the “grandma bypass” and was shot down—“what does your mom say, dear?” My great-grandma, now—she point blank told Dad she was going to spoil her great-granddaughter if she wanted.

Spoiling’s one thing. Undermining the parents is another.

Oh, shut up and enjoy the moment. For the few days Gran-Ma and Gran-Pa are visiting, let them spoil the kids. You should take advantage of it and go out to a movie or something.