Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for August 17, 2014

  1. Vlad2
    Oxnate  over 9 years ago

    (I decide to shut down an account at the bank. The teller completes the transactions and gives me the balance of the account in cash. Later that day, there’s a knock at my door. My mother opens the door to see two police officers and an angry looking man in a suit demanding to see me.)

    Police #1: “Were you in [Bank] today?”

    Me: “Yes. What is this about?”

    Police #1: “The bank manager here says that you took money.”

    Me: “I closed an account; the teller gave me my balance.”

    Manager: shouting “YOU TOOK MONEY! YOU STOLE IT!”

    Me: “No. I only got what the teller gave me. I didn’t count it as it was so little.”

    Police #1: “So little? How much is so little?”

    Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t check the balance, but it was under $10.”

    Bank Manager: “It was supposed to be $8 but you took $9.”

    Me: “I had no idea the teller gave me $1 more.”

    (I pull a dollar note out of my pocket. The manager snatches it.)

    Bank Manager: to police “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”

    Police #2: “HIM? H***, NO! You, on the other hand, have wasted valuable police time over a measly dollar. You were acting as if it was thousands. H***, I would have given you a dollar myself if I had known. And, it was the bank’s fault.”

    (After apologizing to me they took the red-faced manager out, promising to report him to his superiors.)

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    neverenoughgold  over 9 years ago

    I was told if you take care of the pennies, the dollars will take care of themselves. I am not sure this is true..Everett Dirksen, a popular senator from Illinois when asked about out of control federal spending is claimed to have said, “A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking real money!”

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  3. J0407525
    She Mc  over 9 years ago

    I think the new security plan will cost a lot more than a few paper clips!

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  4. Missing large
    hippogriff  over 9 years ago

    neverenoughgold: I remember the Ev and Charlie Show well. It was the Republican’s weekly TV show. When the Democrats were in power, Ev and Charlie called themselves “the loyal opposition”; when they were in power, they called Democrats “commies” and Dems never got their show on the corporate media.

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