Perhaps it’s bad form to make a serious comment about a cartoon such as this, but I’ll do it nevertheless. Of course, all of us know that this is a false characterization of the differences between how men and women think. (And I don’t mean just because some of us men think more about single malt scotch then we do about beer, or even because we know that most men think more about sex than beer.) Men juggle lots of different issues and they’re not all shallow, hedonistic concerns. Men think about and worry about how their children are doing. There’s plenty of research about how men’s well-being is affected by concerns for the well-being of their children. Men worry about whether they’ll be able to support their families. The are more likely than women to have the responsibility for keeping cars and houses in good working order—keeping track of these things, if not doing the work themselves.
And, if we wanted to paint women in a bad light, we could reverse the cartoon’s target and portray them about thinking only about the next sale on women’s clothing or the latest romance novel they read while men juggle serious concerns about work, family, and so forth.
I’m sure Summers means this strip to be good-natured teasing. And, there’s one way in which the stale trope of the good-for-nothing (even if lovable oaf) of a man works to men’s advantage. It sets a low bar for men to exceed. But these sorts of cheap shots at men bother me because men do care about and think a lot about their children and making their lives go well. When mothers and fathers divorce, these hackneyed stereotypes of men as useless, hedonistic, loafers hurt their chances for achieving shared custody of their children. Courts, who are notoriously bad at actually relying on social science research, are not immune to being influenced by these stereotypes. Far too often, they take good, loving fathers (who think about much more than beer) our of their children’s lives, except as financial providers through forced child support payments.
Even jokes meant in jest can contribute to an environment that harms good fathers, and their children.
Now, I’m going to take a break to get a beer—which is, of course, all I’ve been thinking about as I’ve typed this.
To Parker Pleads Pardon for Dr. Canuck and Martens:
One point in response and one questions:
There are, of course, many negative stereotypes of women. I certainly didn’t mean to suggest otherwise. Though I’ve seen many of those—and many recently—I don’t remember seeing any recently that suggested that the difference between men and women was that men are responsible, multi-faceted characters and women have only one hedonistic thought. That’s what Dana Summers’ cartoon is saying if you take it seriously. (And, again, I assume it was meant in a light-hearted, teasing way.)
But my question is this: Why do you think it’s amiss for me to make the point I did about courts? There’s ample evidence that fathers are routinely relegated to a status of second-class parent (if they’re allowed to continue to parent after divorce at all). (Read Sanford Braver’s Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths for evidence of this.) And it seems obvious that part of the reason courts tend to favor mothers is that there is a stereotype that mothers are better parents. The image of a lazy, bumbling, incompetent, or uncaring father is a common trope in advertising and in popular comedies. It doesn’t seem at all amiss to me to suggest that the specific stereotype that Summers’ cartoon reinforces (mom’s thinking about the kids, meals, laundry—everything that’s necessary to provide a good home for kids—and dad’s just thinking about beer) plays a role in disadvantaging men in divorce/custody proceedings.
Dtroutma over 10 years ago
He may have called this one right, for the majority, but might want to add football to go with that beer.
De_Faulto over 10 years ago
That is not true! Where’s the bacon?
Donald Hubin Premium Member over 10 years ago
Perhaps it’s bad form to make a serious comment about a cartoon such as this, but I’ll do it nevertheless. Of course, all of us know that this is a false characterization of the differences between how men and women think. (And I don’t mean just because some of us men think more about single malt scotch then we do about beer, or even because we know that most men think more about sex than beer.) Men juggle lots of different issues and they’re not all shallow, hedonistic concerns. Men think about and worry about how their children are doing. There’s plenty of research about how men’s well-being is affected by concerns for the well-being of their children. Men worry about whether they’ll be able to support their families. The are more likely than women to have the responsibility for keeping cars and houses in good working order—keeping track of these things, if not doing the work themselves.
And, if we wanted to paint women in a bad light, we could reverse the cartoon’s target and portray them about thinking only about the next sale on women’s clothing or the latest romance novel they read while men juggle serious concerns about work, family, and so forth.
I’m sure Summers means this strip to be good-natured teasing. And, there’s one way in which the stale trope of the good-for-nothing (even if lovable oaf) of a man works to men’s advantage. It sets a low bar for men to exceed. But these sorts of cheap shots at men bother me because men do care about and think a lot about their children and making their lives go well. When mothers and fathers divorce, these hackneyed stereotypes of men as useless, hedonistic, loafers hurt their chances for achieving shared custody of their children. Courts, who are notoriously bad at actually relying on social science research, are not immune to being influenced by these stereotypes. Far too often, they take good, loving fathers (who think about much more than beer) our of their children’s lives, except as financial providers through forced child support payments.
Even jokes meant in jest can contribute to an environment that harms good fathers, and their children.
Now, I’m going to take a break to get a beer—which is, of course, all I’ve been thinking about as I’ve typed this.
Donald Hubin Premium Member over 10 years ago
To Parker Pleads Pardon for Dr. Canuck and Martens:
One point in response and one questions:
There are, of course, many negative stereotypes of women. I certainly didn’t mean to suggest otherwise. Though I’ve seen many of those—and many recently—I don’t remember seeing any recently that suggested that the difference between men and women was that men are responsible, multi-faceted characters and women have only one hedonistic thought. That’s what Dana Summers’ cartoon is saying if you take it seriously. (And, again, I assume it was meant in a light-hearted, teasing way.)
But my question is this: Why do you think it’s amiss for me to make the point I did about courts? There’s ample evidence that fathers are routinely relegated to a status of second-class parent (if they’re allowed to continue to parent after divorce at all). (Read Sanford Braver’s Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths for evidence of this.) And it seems obvious that part of the reason courts tend to favor mothers is that there is a stereotype that mothers are better parents. The image of a lazy, bumbling, incompetent, or uncaring father is a common trope in advertising and in popular comedies. It doesn’t seem at all amiss to me to suggest that the specific stereotype that Summers’ cartoon reinforces (mom’s thinking about the kids, meals, laundry—everything that’s necessary to provide a good home for kids—and dad’s just thinking about beer) plays a role in disadvantaging men in divorce/custody proceedings.