10. Only a true nine-to-fiver can read a paragraph full of 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'you'll find a handy reference in my previous email' and see an aggressive, no-holds-barred battlefield.
9. Everyone's a comedian ... except when they aren't.
8. If we haven't talked since high school, if you're selling cheap leggings or candles, or if you even so much as mention an 'exciting opportunity,' I'm not opening your pyramid-scheme email. Period.
7. The Zero Inbox challenge is really just a modern-day take on Sisyphus. Good luck with this thankless and never-ending task, suckers!
6. "I'll just star this one, so I can give it the thought it deserves ... and then let it sit at the top of my inbox for the rest of eternity."