Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for November 03, 1995
Calvin: Why isn't my life like this situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well-being when I have problems? Hobbes: Why don't you know any gorgeous babes? Calvin: I gotta get my life some writers.