Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 24, 1992
Calvin: This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid of Slimy Girls) will come to order. Dictator-for-life Calvin presiding! Hobbes: Hail Calvin and Hobbes! Calvin: On today's agenda, we'll make a list of what girls are good for. Obviously, this will be a short meeting! Ha! Hobbes: First tiger Hobbes will record the list for posterity! Calvin: OK, first, girls are good for water balloon targets! Ha ha! Second, they're good for noting! Ha ha ha! Hobbes: Hee hee, slow down! Calvin: Number three, girls are good for colonizing Pluto! Ah ha ha! What a great list! Hobbes: Number four: They're good for smooching! Hoo hoo! Calvin: Number five is...What?!? Did you say smooching?? What kind of treasonous, sissy idea is that?! Hobbes: Well, it's true. Calvin: Ooog! Aaack! I got the dry heaves!! You're demoted from first tiger to tiger bulk rate! Hobbes: You can't suppress the facts! I award myself a medal of valor! Calvin: How would you know it's a fact?! Have you been at traitor to the cause?! Hobbes: I hae my sources! Ow! This unleaderlike behavior will be noted in the club minutes! Calvin: Have you been smooching the enemy?! Out with it!! Hobbes: You have! I saw it, so don't try to deny it! Calvin: Me?! That's a filthy lie! You'll pay for this vile slander! Hobbes: Oh yeah? Your mom kissed you right on the cheek last night, remember? Calvin: ...oh yeah... I guess mom is a kind of girl, sort of... Hobbes: See? According to club rules, you should be excommunicated. Calvin: OK, presidential pardons all around! Hobbes: Agreed! Calvin: This is such a great club! Hobbes: We'll add an amendment saying smooching is optional if it's your mom.