Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 07, 1986
Calvin: I'm ready for bed, Dad. What's tonight's story going to be? Dad: Here's one. "Readings on Dialectical Metaphysics." You'll love it. Calvin: Forget it, Dad. You can't get me to drop off that easy. Calvin: Will you read us this story? Hobbes wrote it himself. Dad: Hobbes wrote it, huh? Dad: "Goldilocks And The Three Tigers." Calvin: Oh boy, this is gonna be great! Dad: "Once upon a time there lived a young girl named Goldilocks. She went into the forest and saw a cottage. No one was home so she went in." Dad: "Inside she saw three bowls of porridge. A big bowl, a medium bowl, and a small bowl. She was just about to taste the porridge when the three tigers came home." Dad: "They quickly divided Goldilocks into big, medium, and small pieces and dunked them in the porridge that..." Dad: Calvin, I'm not going to finish this! This is disgusting!! Dad: I don't know why I let you talk me into this. Good night! Calvin: He didn't even look at our illustrations. Hobbes: Now I'm all hungry.