Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for July 22, 1998
NATE: Greetings! I'm Nate Wright, Junior Woodchuck, Second Class! Would either of you ladies care to help me earn my merit badge in "tongue tennis?" POW! NATE: At this rate, I'll never make it to first class. FRANCIS: That's just what I was thinking! TEDDY: Is there a merit badge for stupidity?