Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for October 08, 1991
Ellen: "Everlovin' Ellen"? What's this? Nate: I wrote my own soap opera! Read it! Everlovin' Ellen! As our story opens, Ellen receives some shocking news from her ailing father!! Ellen... for all these years, I've kept a secret from you! What is it, Daddy? I've always told you that you were just an average girl... Well, that isn't true! You mean I'm... I'm... Yes! You're well below average!