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Apr 15, 2011
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Looking for a great way to get ahead in the job market? No? 
Then attend...
4-Profit University
A for-profit "educational" institution dedicated to profits since 3Q 2009. 
Do you qualify for: 
- A Pell Grant? 
- The G.I. Bill? 
- A U.S. Government-backed Student Loan? 
If so, you may be the type of go-getter that is right for 4-Profit University!
PUBLICUS MONEYUS FORUS
Stroll our campus, conveniently located between Happy Luck Nails and Pizza-n-Gyros. 
Our business model combines massive "subprime" loans with a massive taxpayer-money grab. What could go wrong? 
If you can't attend on-campus, take our online courses. 
No computer? No worries! Take our text-message courses. 
Phone: pl8o postul8ed rLm of IDl forms
Our professors are there to help, from the moment you check in, to the moment your check clears! 
Offering majors in such disciplines as: 
- Staying Enrolled for Four Weeks
- Applications for Government Aid
- Starting a For-Profit School to Scam Students
- Selling Blood
- Pizza and Gyros Consumption
- Bizness and Finanz*
Remember: The only thing standing between our shareholders and government money is...YOU!!
Reading problem? No problem! 
Call Today: 1-555-4PROFIT!
*No relation to "business" or "finance."
Apr 28, 2011
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