Ted Rall for March 10, 2001
Transcript:
1,400 nautical miles east-southeast of Saipan, the acting lt. commander of the U.S.S. sycophant leaps into action. (Woman: I don't like this blip... prepare the neutron torpedo.) (Man: Thanks, dude.) (Man 2: I'll notify Norad.) Deep beneath the Rockies, acting general donor makes the call. (Man 3: Dammit, Ken, we just can't go to war on the word of a well-connected campaign contributor!) (Man 4: The hell we can't 90% of the armed forces are just civilian day-trippers... just like us! Call the prez!) Meanwhile, in a secret silo under Siberia- (Man 5: Damn you, Dmitri- just because your son is dating Putin's niece doesn't qualify you to launch a strike on the Americans!) (Man 6: Shut up- you're only here because we were college roommates.) As the civilized world falls apart, the uncivilized world prepares to fill the vacuum! (Man 7: Don't you think we should call Osama?) (Man 8: Where's the fun in that? Let's bomb some consulates!)