Ted Rall for September 02, 2000
Transcript:
How to live like an evil corporation lesson 1: LBOs. When corporations want stuff, they don't need any money to buy it. They get it for free! (Man: Well borrow $300 million from the bank and stick the debt to the company we're buying.) Why should evil corporations have all the fun? Don't let poverty stand in the way of material acquisition! (Man 2: Cool laptop, but I don't have a dime to my wretched name... I suck.) Sure, you might encounter some initial resistance. (Man 2: Lend me $2,800. Assign the debt to laptop co. inc. A Delaware corporation, and wrap that baby and put it in my car.) Not to worry- you can always find some dimwit to go along! (Man 2: Give me the laptop posthaste.) (Woman: Need floppies with that?) Finally: sell off the best parts and pocket the profits! (Man 2: But a 2-gig hard drive is worht $60, easy!) (Man 3: Sorry, dude.) Next: Avoid responsibility by changing names!