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Richard's Poor Almanac

By Richard Thompson
4,368
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Sep 23, 2013
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deleted birds
not to birdwatchers. the following birds are no longer recognized by the audubon society. please adjust your life list accordingly. thank you.

eastern pottymouthed snark
assails bird-watchers with crude insults & profanity. call-"get a life you what're you lookin' at take your binoculars and ."

great downy oftmolt
difficult to actually see as it's often surrounded by a suffocating cloud of feathers. call - "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough."

flightless grouse
plods up and down the eastern u.s. whining the whole damn time. call - "ow ow ow ow my feet hurt my feet hurt ow ow ow ow."

unmitigated gull
this is show-offy little creep. call - "look at this plumage! great, huh? you guys from national geographic? how about a picture? you wanna see my mating dance?"

commonplace dullard
no distinguishing marks of any kind, really. hangs around with other, cooler birds who wish it wouldn't. call - "hey wait up wait up c'mon guys wait up."
Sep 30, 2013
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