Agnes probably hasn’t seen her mother since babyhood…. even if she was two or three, she doesn’t remember much about her.
So while at first, you’d think the fantasy would be the loving Mommy full of hugs and kisses, who would take her precious Tiny Agnes to the mall herself….
THAT Mommy is beyond her understanding…THAT Mommy would never have abandoned her….
Almost all children will try to make excuses for a parent they are programed to love, but who just can’t seem to love them…
So Agnes’ fantasy mother, like a super-sized version of her mental image of her real one, is rich, and beautiful, and surrounded by servants…. only…. just…. maybe a little too busy to take care of a wee daughter all by herself…not her fault, you see….she’s just busy….
Cos she’s out there somewhere…and someday she’ll show up, dripping in diamonds….
Agnes wants to be ready, and worthy… and famous…when she does….so maybe then, Mommy will see it, and take her too, next time….
Meanwhile, she loves Grandma… so there’s also a conflict between yearning for a cuddly mother, and feeling guilty for that, too.
Much safer, even in fiction, to keep her up on an unreachable plane…. one she couldn’t be expected to occupy, herself.
Agnes probably hasn’t seen her mother since babyhood…. even if she was two or three, she doesn’t remember much about her.
So while at first, you’d think the fantasy would be the loving Mommy full of hugs and kisses, who would take her precious Tiny Agnes to the mall herself….
THAT Mommy is beyond her understanding…THAT Mommy would never have abandoned her….
Almost all children will try to make excuses for a parent they are programed to love, but who just can’t seem to love them…
So Agnes’ fantasy mother, like a super-sized version of her mental image of her real one, is rich, and beautiful, and surrounded by servants…. only…. just…. maybe a little too busy to take care of a wee daughter all by herself…not her fault, you see….she’s just busy….
Cos she’s out there somewhere…and someday she’ll show up, dripping in diamonds….
Agnes wants to be ready, and worthy… and famous…when she does….so maybe then, Mommy will see it, and take her too, next time….
Meanwhile, she loves Grandma… so there’s also a conflict between yearning for a cuddly mother, and feeling guilty for that, too.
Much safer, even in fiction, to keep her up on an unreachable plane…. one she couldn’t be expected to occupy, herself.