Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

Pearls Before Swine

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  1. TheSnoopster

    TheSnoopster said, about 4 years ago

    He must have been trying to win 1,000,000 bucks from Monopoly at McDonalds.

  2. Havelock_Vetinari

    Havelock_Vetinari said, about 4 years ago

    No comment, but still a comment.

  3. exoticdoc2

    exoticdoc2 said, about 4 years ago

    Good deeds won’t get you into heaven…and that didn’t even qualify as a mediocre deed.

  4. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, about 4 years ago

    If you’ve never made that choice, you can change your eternal destiny today from Hell to Heaven, right now, by accepting Christ’s free gift of salvation.
    You don’t have to be “good enough” or “nice enough” or anything “enough” if you truly want to get saved. God will clean you up and even after a lifetime, Christians are still being cleaned up. Don’t worry about “not being good enough” for God. No one is “good enough” for God.
    If any person was “good enough”, they wouldn’t need a savior, Jesus Christ.
    Many churches and groups over the centuries have added non-Biblical requirements to salvation, but the basics taught in the Bible are confession, repentance and accepting the gift of salvation from God.
    This means accepting Christ, the Son of God. To accept Christ, you confess to God that you are a sinner and repent— which means to change your mind, to turn your back on your sins— and accept the free gift of salvation and forgiveness from sin that Christ offers.
    Sin is doing wrong and a sinner is one who does wrong. Every human being sins and is thus a sinner. Sinning piles up a debt of sin that must be paid for.
    That is why we need a Savior. Every person needs a Savior. Copyright 2012 by Benjamin Belteshazzar Franklin All Rights Reserved
    National Wave of Foolishness 266 of 434
    Christ IS that Savior.
    God is a righteous God and Heaven is a place without sin. To allow humans to enter Heaven after they die, they need Christ’s gift of salvation. Christ paid for your sin debt and the sins of every person who has ever lived and will ever live on Earth by sacrificing Himself by dying on the cross. He returned to life, and offers eternal life to all who will receive it. Every person has the choice to accept Christ’s gift of salvation. Heaven is a gift.
    Becoming saved is much simpler than most people think.
    If you want to be saved, pray for salvation. Repeat this prayer:
    “Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. I confess my sins and thank you for dying on the cross to pay for my sins. Please forgive my sins. I ask you into my life and heart and receive you as my Savior and Lord. I accept the gift of salvation and forgiveness that you paid so much for. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Be the Lord of my life. In Jesus’ name.”
    If you prayed that prayer and meant it, you are now saved. Your sins are forgiven and you will go to Heaven when you die. You are covered by grace, which basically means that God is not mad at you anymore.

  5. jukeofurl

    jukeofurl said, about 4 years ago

    What if God was one of us. AND fat. Or say, a “fat” head?!. . ..

  6. vwdualnomand

    vwdualnomand said, about 4 years ago

    if we want to curb obesity, how about putting a tax on fast food chains.

  7. greg_liu

    greg_liu said, about 4 years ago

    Oh, for the love of Jeebus…

  8. Proginoskes

    Proginoskes said, about 4 years ago

    I don’t want to go to Heaven if it means spending eternity with righteous blowhards like Nabuquduriuzhur.

    Jeffrey Dahmer converted to Christianity, so I guess he’ll make it into Heaven then? But if I give away all of my money and feed the poor but not believe in Jesus, then I’ll go to Hell. Something’s wrong here …

    And never forget: The people with the most faith are suicide bombers.

  9. jessegooddoggy

    jessegooddoggy said, about 4 years ago

    Thanks, but I will be very happy to get to the Rainbow Bridge. And where are Rat and Goat today – it already looks like heaven!

  10. Hillbillyman

    Hillbillyman said, about 4 years ago

    I have had that done to me often back when I was hitchhiking around in the 60’s. However, I got some good rides too.

  11. Hillbillyman

    Hillbillyman said, about 4 years ago

    Rat helps out the fat guy, by holding a door for him,Rat gets to go to heavan, and the fat guy goes to hell. Where is the justice?

  12. F6F5Hellcat

    F6F5Hellcat said, about 4 years ago


    Not quite. Rat admitted he let the door close beofre the guy got in, saying the guy was too slow. What do you want to bet that Rat held the door for all of a second but the guy was just getting out of his car when Rat saw him. Takes skinny people more than a second to reach the door when their just getting out of their car.

  13. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, about 4 years ago

    I regret having to be the one to break the news to you, Rat. But that won’t cut it. You’re still going to The Other Place unless you change your ways, which seems not to be in the cards….

  14. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, about 4 years ago

    I think even Clarence would give up on Rat.

  15. trekman58

    trekman58 said, about 4 years ago


    I had way too many pet rats go over the Rainbow Bridge so I stopped. The last one went in my hands. Too much to take.

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