JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for November 10, 2002

Transcript:

"I'm watching 'The true hollyweird story.' It's fantastic!" "Who's the poor slob they're exploiting today?" "Santa Claus" "Santa Claus The True Hollyweird Story" "The now-famous low-speed chase was a sad ending to a brilliant career" "Santa was bigger than 'the beatles'!" "But his success led to excess..." "How many 'twing dings' have you had today?" "Burp" "Broke and desperate, Clause found himself on skid row..." "Psst! Want toys?-cheap?" "Even his top elf turned against him on the talk show circuit..." "He said some things I can't repeat on national TV..." "THese days, his aging fans act as though the Christmas icon doesn't even exist." "Talk to the hand" "Honey, there's no such thing as Santa Claus." "Part two: Santa's comeback tour"