Joe Heller by Joe Heller

Joe Heller

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  1. Simon_Jester

    Simon_Jester said, 11 days ago

    “Sorry Gabriel, but even I can’t make that happen.”
    “Well gee Santa, I guess the only other thing I want is for the Minnesota Vikings to win the Super Bowl.”
    “Uhhmmm, lemme see that trumpet again?”

  2. SizeofaPea

    SizeofaPea said, 11 days ago

    A man rubbed a lamp he found on the beach one day. A genie came out and said, “I will grant you one wish.”
    The man, incredulous said, “I thought it was 3 wishes.”
    The Genie’s retort was “It’s one wish take it or leave it.”
    The man said, “Okay, my family lives in Hawaii and I haven’t seen them in a long time. I don’t like flying and I get seasick on ships. So I want a bridge from the mainland to Hawaii.”
    Genie, “That’s too big, next wish?”
    Man, “I want to know what a woman wants.”
    Genie, “Even I don’t know that, NEXT!”
    Man, “Okay, this is the last time, you have to give it to me or you’re a fraud. I want Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Men.”
    Genie, “Did you want that bridge 2 lanes or four?”

  3. I Play One On TV

    I Play One On TV said, 11 days ago

    Oh, how I wish that were even remotely true.

  4. ahab

    ahab GoComics PRO Member said, 11 days ago

    Human depravity;wars,rape,death,and torture are handed out by christians as easily as other religious groups. Human depravity isn’t really limited by religion, but often is encouraged by it. Haven’t you been paying attention?

  5. louieglutz

    louieglutz said, 11 days ago

    @ahab

    you are confusing people who go to church with christians.

  6. Jase99

    Jase99 said, 11 days ago

    @ahab

    You forget that just because someone convinces themselves they’re a “true Christian” doesn’t mean they actually follow the teachings of Christ.

  7. opednance

    opednance said, 11 days ago

    Even your statement is prejudicial – Jesus wouldn’t say something that would exclude the majority of people on Earth. You obviously have no idea what Christ;s message was about.

  8. eugene57

    eugene57 said, 11 days ago

    As with Jesus of Nazarene’s disciples, most church leaders and “followers” either do not understand his teachings, or want to actually follow them. (and remember, the translations cannot be wholly accurate for, as with the writings of Shakespeare, there were many subtle and varied meanings to the words, as well as being written years after his going to the cross.)

  9. Robert Landers

    Robert Landers said, 11 days ago

    @ahab

    As a religion Christianity is VASTLY different from actually being truly Christian. Indeed, if humanity actualy followed the precepts of Christ himself, there would be “Peace on Earth!”. But the religious so called Christians are no better at that than those of other “religions”, and that is a truly sad situation!!

  10. dzw3030

    dzw3030 said, 11 days ago

    All these comments convince me my concentrating on the first Golden Rule is much better than dealing with “organized religion”.

  11. superposition

    superposition said, 11 days ago

    @dzw3030

    Amen.

  12. masterskrain

    masterskrain GoComics PRO Member said, 11 days ago

    @dzw3030; “Organized Religion” is just as bad of an oxymoron as “Military Intelligence”!
    “Religious” leaders change the rules and strictures to reflect what THEY want them to say…or only read the verses that THEY want to see, and ignore the rest!

  13. ahab

    ahab GoComics PRO Member said, 11 days ago

    @Robert Landers

    The Mahatma noticed that as well.

  14. ahab

    ahab GoComics PRO Member said, 11 days ago

    I always liked Tom Hanks character in the Green Mile when he discusses how would he try to explain to God, that he had killed one of his miracles.

  15. Northern Redman

    Northern Redman said, 11 days ago

    @Robert Landers

    Spirituality and belief in the existence of something greater than yourself is fine. It’s religion that sucks.

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