Brick doorstop, fruitcake…what’s the diff? Used to be a DJ in these parts who did parody songs (other than Bob Rivers) who would release an album of stuff (first on cassettes; then on CDs) every year around Christmas. Over the years I think he did four or five different parodies about fruitcakes, my favorite being “50 Ways to Use a Fruitcake.” Ironically, I think his song had more ways to use a fruitcake than Paul Simon had ways to leave your lover.Simon, some of you may recall, appeared on “The Muppet Show.” Best gag in the show happened at the stage door at the very beginning of the show, before the title song. Old man at the stage door pointed out a lever (the joke only works if you pronounce it “LEE-ver”) and warns Simon not to grab it. “Oh,” says Simon, “you mean this one here?” — which he immediately pulls, dropping the old man through a trap door. Head shot on Simon who said, “I love levers. But then, I know 50 ways to love your lever.”
Brick doorstop, fruitcake…what’s the diff? Used to be a DJ in these parts who did parody songs (other than Bob Rivers) who would release an album of stuff (first on cassettes; then on CDs) every year around Christmas. Over the years I think he did four or five different parodies about fruitcakes, my favorite being “50 Ways to Use a Fruitcake.” Ironically, I think his song had more ways to use a fruitcake than Paul Simon had ways to leave your lover.Simon, some of you may recall, appeared on “The Muppet Show.” Best gag in the show happened at the stage door at the very beginning of the show, before the title song. Old man at the stage door pointed out a lever (the joke only works if you pronounce it “LEE-ver”) and warns Simon not to grab it. “Oh,” says Simon, “you mean this one here?” — which he immediately pulls, dropping the old man through a trap door. Head shot on Simon who said, “I love levers. But then, I know 50 ways to love your lever.”