Gary Varvel by Gary Varvel

Gary Varvel

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  1. OldCoal

    OldCoal GoComics PRO Member said, about 13 hours ago

    Shut off that Trumpet.

  2. nlkilpat

    nlkilpat GoComics PRO Member said, about 12 hours ago

    One of the mouth-breather Republicans.

  3. guy fawkes

    guy fawkes said, about 12 hours ago

    Jeb: What manner of man are you who can summon up fire without flint or tinder ?

    Tim: I…am a Virginian.

    Jeb: By what name are you known ?

    Tim: There are some who call me…Tim

    Jeb: Greetings, Tim, the Virginian.

    Tim: Greetings, Jeb !

    Jeb: You know my name ?

    Tim: I do. You seek the Holy Nomination !

    Jeb: That is our quest, you know much that is hidden, O Tim.

    Tim: Quite.

    Jeb: Yes, we’re…we’re looking for the Holy Nomination, our quest is to find the e-mail.

    GOP knights: Yes, it is.

    Jeb: …and so, we are looking for it.

    GOP knights: Yes, yes, we’ve been looking for some time… yes, ages.
    Jeb: …uh… and so anything you could do to help… would be… very… helpful. Fine… uhm, I don’t want to waste anymore of your time, but… uh, I don’t suppose you could tell us where we might find… a… uhm… a… uh… a… uh…

    Tim: A what ?

    Jeb: a… a nom.a..no-o… ppres…

    Tim: A Nomination !?

    Jeb: Yes, I think so.

    Tim: Yes !

    Reince and his knights: Oh… thanks. Splendid.

    Tim: Yes, I can help you find the White House. To the north there lies a cave, the cave of CaerbanCleveland, where in carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of Ronaldius Bedwee of Reganlandia make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Nomination.

    Jeb: Where can we find this cave, O Tim ?

    Tim: Follow. But ! Follow only if you be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived ! Bones of full fifty states lie strewn about its lair, so brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further ! For Trump awaits you all with nasty big pointy hair.

    Jeb: …what an eccentric performance.

    Tim: Behold the cave of CaerbanCleveland !

    Jeb: Right, keep me covered.

    Sir Christie: What with ?
    Jeb: W-just keep me covered.

    Tim: Too late. There he is.

    Jeb: Where ?

    Tim: There !” (pointing at the rabid)

    Jeb: What, behind the rabid ?

    Tim: It is the rabid.

    Jeb: …You silly sod. You got us all worked up !

    Tim: That’s no ordinary rabid. That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad tempered realtor you ever set eyes on.

    Sir Reince: You twit, I soiled my armor I was so scared

    Tim: Listen, that rabid’s got a vicious streak a mile wide, he’s a TV star.

    Sir Christie: Get stuffed.

    Tim: He’ll do you up a treat, mate.

    Sir Christie: Oh, yeah ?

    Tim: I’m warning you !

    Sir Reince: What’s he do, nibble your buns.

    Tim: He’s got huge sharp hair…eh, he can leap about…Look at the WIVES !

    Jeb: Go on Ted, chop his head off.

    Ted: Right. Silly little bleeder, one rabid stew coming right up.

    Tim: Look ! (Ted’s head is bitten off.)

    Jeb: Holy Koch Brothers !!!

    Sir Reince: …I’ve done it again.

    Tim: I warned you, I warned you but did you listen? No… ohhh no, it’s just a harmless little TV clown isn’t it now, well it’s always the same thing, I always tell them-

    Jeb: Oh, shut up !
    Tim: -do they listen to me ?

    Jeb: Right ! Charge !

    (The GOP charges ahead and gets mangled by the rabid. Tim laughs as the GOP retreats screaming).

  4. alphadog61374

    alphadog61374 said, about 12 hours ago

    I can’t wait for the The Beasts coronation. Does the DNC pay for her to give her speech?

  5. Balto Bill

    Balto Bill said, about 11 hours ago

    @guy fawkes

    Nice parody of the Holy Grail scene with the killer rabbit.

  6. Alberta-oil

    Alberta-oil said, about 11 hours ago

    Much bluster.. very little action. And that is the story of Trump as well.

  7. wmconelly

    wmconelly said, about 10 hours ago

    Gary Varvel: Another RepubliCon ‘toonist who’ll vote for Hillary - and pretend he didn’t.

  8. DrDon1

    DrDon1 said, about 9 hours ago

    @alphadog61374

    By “coronation,” do you mean H. Clinton’s swearing-in as President of the United States?

  9. Anweir88

    Anweir88 said, about 9 hours ago

    @guy fawkes

    OK, that was well done.

  10. Night-Gaunt49

    Night-Gaunt49 GoComics PRO Member said, about 9 hours ago

    @wmconelly

    So if you are against Trump you must be voting for Hillary is what you claim? We still lose with Hillary but it would be as bad as with GWB or BHO. Since we still lose whenever the Plutocrats win which has been at least since 1980 which was when their war on the Middle Class started.

  11. Night-Gaunt49

    Night-Gaunt49 GoComics PRO Member said, about 9 hours ago

    @guy fawkes

    A well done parody indeed!

  12. OldCoal

    OldCoal GoComics PRO Member said, about 9 hours ago

    Well, have to give Trump credit where it’s due. Given he’s at the helm, and nobody said ANYTHING about the German killer (waiting to find out if he was a refugee), apparently he’s more self controlled than the usual “scream at signal” “leaders” of the GOP.
    We’ll hear no more about this guy, not in US media. Why?
    He was apparently far right and worshipped Anders Behring Breivik – the guy who killed 77 in Norway. Not news. If he’d been a refugee, THAT would be news.
    Odd how that “liberal media” gets all mixed up about easy things like that.

  13. HopefulAmerican

    HopefulAmerican said, about 8 hours ago

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/what-know-ali-david-sonboly-8476548
    -
    @OldCoal, your “far right” killer screamed “Allahu Akbar” before shooting several children at close range!
    -
    The news story at the url I posted above says he had 300 rounds of ammo for his illegal Glock 9mm pistol, ID number filed off.
    -
    He was the son of a taxi driver, lived in Munich over 2 years and had dual citizenship in Germany and Iran.
    -
    “Far Right” my foot, OldCoal. He was a Mass Murderer for Allah.

  14. narrowminded

    narrowminded said, about 7 hours ago

    @Alberta-oil

    Action? He’s never held office!
    Mrs. Clinton, on the other hand, has been in the public sector practically her whole life and all she’s managed to accomplish is get an ambassador murdered and make a holy mess of her emails.
    Well, she screwed up Syria, gave Crimea the shaft, let ISIS have Lybia and lost Iraq. She did get 22 million from Wall Street bankers, tho, and she covered her tracks enough to not get indicted, I guess that’s a plus.
    At least she’s a competent felon.

  15. ahab

    ahab GoComics PRO Member said, about 7 hours ago

    @narrowminded

    Seek psychiatric care ASAP.

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