Fort Knox by Paul Jon

Fort Knox

Comments (10) (Please sign in to comment)

  1. TEMPLO S.U.D.

    TEMPLO S.U.D. said, about 2 years ago

    Oh, good grief! How ’bout an iguana? On second thought, scratch the idea. Try a different pet store.

  2. simpsonfan2

    simpsonfan2 said, about 2 years ago

    He could probably even kill a pet rock.

  3. Blackwolff9

    Blackwolff9 GoComics PRO Member said, about 2 years ago

    Maybe a plush toy?

  4. Pharmakeus Ubik

    Pharmakeus Ubik GoComics PRO Member said, about 2 years ago

    Black thumb.

  5. mvw

    mvw said, about 2 years ago

    How about a parrot, maybe the Norwegian Blue.

  6. Comic Minister

    Comic Minister said, about 2 years ago

    No! No! NOOOOOO!

  7. StoicLion

    StoicLion said, about 2 years ago

    @TEMPLO S.U.D.

    I know of one comic strip kid with a pet iguana and he’s too smart for his own good sometimes. The kid, not the iguana. The iguana just sits there.

  8. K M

    K M GoComics PRO Member said, about 2 years ago

    @TEMPLO S.U.D.

    ♪♫ I wish I was in Ti-a-juana,
    eating barbecued iguana!
    ♫♪

  9. win

    win said, about 2 years ago

    @mvw

    O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue…What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?
    C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ’E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
    O: No, no, ’e’s uh,…he’s resting.
    C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
    O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
    C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
    O: Nononono, no, no! ’E’s resting!
    C: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!
    (shouting at the cage)
    ‘Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I’ve got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show…(owner hits the cage)
    O: There, he moved!
    C: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
    O: I never!!
    C: Yes, you did!
    O: I never, never did anything…
    C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO POLLY!!!!!
    Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!
    (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
    C: Now that’s what I call a dead parrot.
    O: No, no…..No, ’e’s stunned!
    C: STUNNED?!?
    O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
    C: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not ’alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
    O: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.
    C: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?
    O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin’ on it’s back! Remarkable bird, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
    C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
    (pause)
    O: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
    C: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this bird wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ’E’s bleedin’ demised!
    O: No no! ’E’s pining!
    C: ’E’s not pinin’! ’E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! ’E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker!
    ’E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ’e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ’istory! ’E’s off the twig! ’E’s kicked the bucket, ’e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!!
    THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
    (pause)
    O: Well, I’d better replace it, then. – Monty Python

  10. simpsonfan2

    simpsonfan2 said, about 2 years ago

    @StoicLion

    FOXTROT is the strip. Reruns now, except Sundays are new ones.

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