Waterbeds were all the rage in the ’80s, so we bought one. It was a miserable thing. The heater was defective, so the mattress was often clammy and cold. Putting the sheets on took practice. We had to pull up the edge of the mattress, then work a band of elastic under this blubbery, rolling water-filled sack while skinning our knuckles on the frame. It occurred to me that it was kind of like dressing something warm, large, and flabby!