Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams

Dilbert Classics

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  1. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, about 1 year ago

    ‘Input ’can’t get their way.’ Result:crying and/or withholding sex.’
    (oooh… I bet I’m going to hear about that!)

  2. Linux0s

    Linux0s said, about 1 year ago

    “Second date with DIlbert.” Result: hysterical crying.

  3. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, about 1 year ago

    You said it yourself, Dilbert: “…predict the female response.” [Emphasis added.] Only one. Singular. In all situations and circumstances. “Result: crying [always].”

  4. Toonerific

    Toonerific said, about 1 year ago

    Correct female response:
    Watch sad movie: fall asleep or watch comedy on cell phone
    Receive flowers: smile
    Date with Dilbert: laugh hysterically

  5. Toonerific

    Toonerific said, about 1 year ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts

    Actually I’ve dated men like that …

  6. Kerovan

    Kerovan said, about 1 year ago

    @Sisyphos

    Actually I think you can narrow it down to three responses, Crying, Buying or Tantrum.
    .
    [My apologies to the ladies, the joke was too good to pass up.] =)

  7. Kerovan

    Kerovan said, about 1 year ago

    @Kerovan

    Actually that last one would read better as Annoying. Didn’t think of it in time though.

  8. Dr Dave

    Dr Dave said, about 1 year ago

    @Toonerific

    Bought 55" flatscreen to watch movies on 3" phone? Need I comment on level of intelligence displayed?

  9. bawana

    bawana said, about 1 year ago

    I think Scott missed the most common one: “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you”. Easily, one of the most asinine phrases ever uttered by a human………………….

  10. ChessPirate

    ChessPirate said, about 1 year ago

    I think Dilbert needs a larger database of responses. I mean, “Eat chocolate” should be in there somewhere.

  11. INGSOC

    INGSOC GoComics PRO Member said, about 1 year ago

    Crying, due in response of a date with you Dilbert..? You’re a prophet of whom that can certainly read the future..

  12. denis1112

    denis1112 said, about 1 year ago

    Type in marrage-result loss of husbands identity,husband become a disliked slave to inlaws.Husbands IQ drops to near zero,Lots of verbal abuse by inlaws and wife while working two jobs.Screaming.Husband loses everything he owned before meeting the honey trap.

  13. The Wolf In Your Midst

    The Wolf In Your Midst said, about 1 year ago

    @Linux0s

    “Second date with Dilbert” would crash the program. Completely illogical parameters!

  14. The Wolf In Your Midst

    The Wolf In Your Midst said, about 1 year ago

    Guys, predicting the “female response” isn’t that difficult. It’s just a matter of… and hold on to your hats here…
    …treating them like people.

  15. Night-Gaunt49

    Night-Gaunt49 said, about 1 year ago

    I was rejected by a matching service because they couldn’t find any compatible women based upon my responses. (1 in 7.)

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