Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams

Dilbert Classics

Comments (15) (Please sign in to comment)

  1. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, about 3 years ago

    ‘Input ’can’t get their way.’ Result:crying and/or withholding sex.’
    (oooh… I bet I’m going to hear about that!)

  2. Linux0s

    Linux0s said, about 3 years ago

    “Second date with DIlbert.” Result: hysterical crying.

  3. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, about 3 years ago

    You said it yourself, Dilbert: “…predict the female response.” [Emphasis added.] Only one. Singular. In all situations and circumstances. “Result: crying [always].”

  4. Toonerific

    Toonerific said, about 3 years ago

    Correct female response:
    Watch sad movie: fall asleep or watch comedy on cell phone
    Receive flowers: smile
    Date with Dilbert: laugh hysterically

  5. Toonerific

    Toonerific said, about 3 years ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts

    Actually I’ve dated men like that …

  6. Kerovan

    Kerovan said, about 3 years ago

    @Sisyphos

    Actually I think you can narrow it down to three responses, Crying, Buying or Tantrum.
    .
    [My apologies to the ladies, the joke was too good to pass up.] =)

  7. Kerovan

    Kerovan said, about 3 years ago

    @Kerovan

    Actually that last one would read better as Annoying. Didn’t think of it in time though.

  8. Dr Dave

    Dr Dave said, about 3 years ago

    @Toonerific

    Bought 55" flatscreen to watch movies on 3" phone? Need I comment on level of intelligence displayed?

  9. ChessPirate

    ChessPirate said, about 3 years ago

    I think Dilbert needs a larger database of responses. I mean, “Eat chocolate” should be in there somewhere.

  10. INGSOC

    INGSOC GoComics PRO Member said, about 3 years ago

    Crying, due in response of a date with you Dilbert..? You’re a prophet of whom that can certainly read the future..

  11. The Wolf In Your Midst

    The Wolf In Your Midst said, about 3 years ago

    @Linux0s

    “Second date with Dilbert” would crash the program. Completely illogical parameters!

  12. The Wolf In Your Midst

    The Wolf In Your Midst said, about 3 years ago

    Guys, predicting the “female response” isn’t that difficult. It’s just a matter of… and hold on to your hats here…
    …treating them like people.

  13. Night-Gaunt49

    Night-Gaunt49 GoComics PRO Member said, about 3 years ago

    I was rejected by a matching service because they couldn’t find any compatible women based upon my responses. (1 in 7.)

  14. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, about 3 years ago

    Receive flowers: return them because Dilbert not Hollywood type. (Most women my age actually did that. A complete lack of class. Thankfully only happened to me once.)

  15. ujean

    ujean said, about 3 years ago

    @The Wolf In Your Midst

    Hush. The divorced guys are venting.

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