Oh, Auntie! I am currently 30% heavier than I’ve ever been in my life! Gone from an average of 97 pounds to 136! started with the lockdown, and the fact that my living room is WAY too close to my kitchen! nice to know I’m less likely to be kidnapped!
Whole thing reminds me of the story about the guy who was pulled over for doing 100 in a 65 zone. Cop asked him why he was speeding like that. Guy says, “My ex ran off with a cop last week, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
Yakety Sax about 1 month ago
I’ll take a slice à la mode.
rekam Premium Member about 1 month ago
But I don’t want to regain the weight I’ve lost, Aunty.
blunebottle about 1 month ago
Not only the harder you are, but the less desirable as well.
desvarzil about 1 month ago
Go for the pie… the cake is a lie.
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 1 month ago
May you be right. Being kidnapped is no joke. {shudder}
Macushlalondra about 1 month ago
You’re probably right, Aunty unless the victim is rich and someone will pay the ransom to get them back. So they have to be loved by someone as well.
The Reader Premium Member about 1 month ago
Some people must fear kidnapping a lot more than others.
CorkLock about 1 month ago
magicwalnut Premium Member about 1 month ago
Oh, Auntie! I am currently 30% heavier than I’ve ever been in my life! Gone from an average of 97 pounds to 136! started with the lockdown, and the fact that my living room is WAY too close to my kitchen! nice to know I’m less likely to be kidnapped!
Daltongang Premium Member about 1 month ago
Aunty, lest you forget, the mob controls the construction industry, they have the crane they need to kidnap you.
ragsarooni Premium Member about 1 month ago
Excellent point…..never thought of that‼️
ladykat about 1 month ago
Good advice, Auntie!
teachteed23 about 1 month ago
Whole thing reminds me of the story about the guy who was pulled over for doing 100 in a 65 zone. Cop asked him why he was speeding like that. Guy says, “My ex ran off with a cop last week, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
owlsandy about 1 month ago
I like her thinking!
cuzinron47 about 1 month ago
I’ll take my chances.
cuzinron47 about 1 month ago
I see you’re drinking that expensive wine, that actually has a cork in it.
rockyridge1977 about 1 month ago
Just fill your pockets full of horseshoes!!!!!
Ray Helvy Premium Member about 1 month ago
Unless they decide to leave you, but not as a witness. (It’s just a joke; no hating please!)
rgcviper about 1 month ago
Wise words, Aunty. I’ve always liked this one.
Happy to say that I did have a big piece of chocolate cake tonight, too!