Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 29, 2023

Expiration date: 13 years from now

Good instructions.

every parent needs to heed this. wish I had

Best instructions ever.

ok ok – now how to turn the volume down?

From NOT ALWAYS RIGHT: Ah, To See The World Through The Eyes Of A Child

I like to tell the story of planning my daughter’s seventh birthday party. She had two friends in our apartment complex who both had two-year-old sisters, and she wanted to invite both children and both siblings. Then, she stopped and got very concerned.

Daughter: “But… the babies…”

My wife and I were going, “Oh, thank God she’s realized she doesn’t want actual babies at her party.”

Daughter: “They’re both the same age and have the same hair! How will you tell them apart?”

One child was white with brown curls. The other was Black and had natural hair.

I really didn’t want to have to explain how and why it was certain we’d never confuse the two children.

2nd one: When It Comes To Gift-Giving, She’s Got The Eye Of The Elephant

My youngest niece hates it when I tell this story about her. But it was so dang adorable that I can’t help it! When she was four years old, we were having a Christmas party. She heard us talking about exchanging White Elephant gifts. For those that don’t know, a White Elephant gift exchange is when you give someone kind of a joke gift — like if someone turned fifty and you gave them a deck of huge cards because “their eyesight is bad”.

Anywho, my niece heard us talking about doing the gift exchange.

Niece: “Can I do it, too?”

Me: “Sure, if you want! Why don’t you go find something in your room to give?”

My niece ran off to her room and returned a few minutes later holding a stuffed animal, tears in her eyes.

Niece: “I don’t have a white elephant. I have a white tiger. Will that work instead?”

She was so dang cute! She is in her twenties now, so she groans and rolls her eyes when we tell the story. But it is a precious memory to all of us who were there.

Not my stories.

Could someone go back to the day I was born and give this to my mother?

Mama bears is needs no instructions. Bears is smarter than average hyoomins.

Baby New Year?

No expiration date.

Instructions is one thing, it’s the owner’s manual that they lost for all three of mine.

You do not have to be the perfect parent. Kids will cut you a lot of slack if they know that you are trying.

…but be the adult. They’ll be your friend later.

I like that!

Sounds easy but just wait until the twos and the teens. That’s when it gets real but worth it.

Could come with a recording of CSN’s “Teach Your Children”

Warning: can be harmful to physical and mental health

There’s lots of ways to raise a child but this is the definite golden rule to follow.

Love it! This brings to mind the old saying “There is no way to be a perfect parent — but there are a million ways to be a good one!”

I used to tell my child that the hospital gave me an instruction manual. As she got older, she started to doubt it, but to this day, I uphold my statement. She has children of her own. I need to ask her if she got two manuals.

You may not always understand your kids, and you may not always agree with your kids, but you can always accept them and love them and encourage them to be who they are, even if you don’t get it.

Mark, it is now confirmed you have a heart.

Great note

And while you are at it, mold them into responsible adults and citizens.

Amen!

I wish parents had to spent at least as much time training to raise a child as you do to get licensed to drive a motor vehicle.

Do not hold your baby when he’s naked because you will get pooped on.

Is that couple 2 women?

Definitely fits this generation; “Don’t teach your child to become a useful contributor to society, accept their basic nature of selfish entitlement.”