Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for July 03, 2023

Rodney is turning over.

No tie either.

I paid for my kids karate lessons… now he makes me eat his vegetables.

Jimmy is never going to stop spying on my parents, is he?

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife’s cooking is so bad the flies fix our screens.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

My wife is a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo.

My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio

One day, someone will make the last Rodney Dangerfield reference. I wonder if today is that day?

I have to restake the grape vines today. First, I need to track down the pole slammer.

That’s my wife, right there. “Tell me when to laugh.”

leaving stakes around would make it a Dangerfield!

“Rodney Dangerfield” was the name a fictional cowboy star on the Jack Benny show, which is where Rodney (whose actual name was Jacob Cohen) got his name.

I felt that way when I was teaching all the time… but I was using it to find the more astute students (ahem)

Love the nod to Rod!

Gladitoldus.

I don’t know who Glads is, but I’ll get the “stakes” (sic) and fire up the BBQ

Tough town, I tell ya.

You’ll get your steaks faster after I crank up the BBQ.