Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for October 27, 2022

It was either that, or Putin would’ve had her fingernails pulled out one at a time with pliers and without anesthesia or pain killers.

How did he die?? I thought vampires were indestructible!!!

Uh oh. Them monsters is got together and planning something eevil. Now Ninja Sloth is our only hope or else woe is we.

Does anyone know where I can get a good steak around here?

Cue the Barbershop Quartet to sing “Peg In My Heart.”

https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0TDMySzMwMTE3YPTiL0hNV8hPU8itVMhITSwqAQCJpwk3&q=peg+of+my+heart&oq=peg+of+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46i512j0i512l2j46i512j0i512l4.6108j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Looks like he’s the death of the party!

I wonder if vampires sleep better now than they did in the past, given that the modern casket has padding and pillows the old type ones did not (or did they? I don’t know when people began adding padding to caskets.)

Then again, the modern rectangle probably has a lot less elbow room than the old style kite shaped box.

Actually, I assume vampires have to have theirs custom made, as they have requirements most buyers would not be looking for (like long term casket durability and making sure some idiot DOESN’T automatically add a cross to the top of the lid.)

Vlad’s missing out on a drink of the Monster Mash.

I’m definitely looking forward to seeing Vlad P in a casket

Witches At Vampire’s, “Wakes”, Be Loco!

He vants to sleep during the party so he can pick out his victim …