Monty by Jim Meddick for April 15, 2018

Not good enough! I want a drone with a built in Siri. Then, all I’d have to do is say “Siri, fetch me a fry!” and off the drone would go, pick up a fry, dip it in ketchup, then bring it to me to eat! All without my intervention.

Eating fries with a fork? I want the drone to have little mechanical fingers.

And Zeinz ketchup is good enough, but I’d rather have Zunt’s.

Tainted by technology. I’ll have the cold soggy crinkle fries please, no wonder Moondog turned it down.

I invented a robot that not only picks up the fries, dips it in ketchup, but it also chews it for me, swallows it for me, digests it for me, and then goes to the pot for me, and I don’t gain any weight from eating all of these french fries….

Don’t play with your food.

I want a fry…but I also want both of my eyebrows, so…

Too much work to be practical. Another clever idea that has no market whatsoever. I could have eaten the whole portion of fries in the time that Monty took with his method for just one!

As long as moondog’s got beer he’s ok.