Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for September 19, 2014

Bev….

Well…. this is from a Wikipedia article on the subject:

"There are several how-to books on the subject of faking one’s death, including Get Lost!, How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found, How to Create a New Identity, and The Heavy Duty New Identity."

My own advice is pretty limited to the following:

Pack some sandwiches and clean underwear.

Please leave word so I don’t worry.

Tony… obviously not.

But I don’t see why I need any.If you die … I mean, let’s say you’d really died….

Are people expecting you to produce paperwork?

Do you have the proper papers in order to fake your own death?

I don’t even have my papers in order for the real thing.

I had the papers. They were in order. Then I did a load of laundry while I made my sandwiches cause I didn’t have any clean undies…….and well now I need new papers. Or maybe the strawberry jelly stains on the soggy smeared papers will really sell it?

ROTFLMAO. That is too funny!

Laundry isn’t that hard. (don’t tell my husband) Do like Beviek said – throw them in the washer and push a button. There are better chores to fake your own death over.

There are several prior and current political figures I wish would fake their own deaths.

I’d like a laundry room. I’ll trade with you

You need to employ the Bill Cosby method. Screw it up so badly that you’ll never be allowed to do it again!

I don’t plan to go until I have a GOOD reason. Only if I were ever to lose mobility permanently – then it won’t be fake.

My children know I don’t ever plan to be an invalid.