Cornered by Mike Baldwin for October 10, 2014

No, you cannot test it in this store.

Not funny!!!!

It’s a seven-day,“coming to your senses and remembering you’re a civilized human-being”, period!

I wouldn’t patronize that store. Those vests look like outdated dynamite affairs. You can’t get any good action from dynamite, especially unconfined like that. I’m not sure even Achmed would be killed. Where’s the shrapnel? Where’s the blast shaping? This is just not going to do. And is it only available in that bleak institutional green color? Ick! And it clashes with the red dynamite wrappers. The least you ask for your big day is to be dressed nice. Don’t be complacent. Just because you automatically GET the virgins doesn’t mean they won’t be more enthusiastic if you show a little style. And what if you get caught, and you vest ends up on TV. You don’t want all the other terrorists laughing at you. “Look at Achmed. What a dork. No one has used that style since the 80’s.”

One reason the Secret Service should shoot to kill on the White House lawn.

The only virgins those terrorists will get are seven crusty old nuns bearing AK-47s.

That’s a mistake. Ir’s not virgins, it’s Virginians.

Not really funny.

You must never have heard the joke in which bin-Laden is being beaten up in the after-life by George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, etc.

Not funny.