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Santa has a major delivery problem. There are some 2 billion children in the world expecting Christmas presents. Assuming an average of 2.5 children per household, then, Santa has to visit about 800 million homes scattered about the globe…………………………………
Thanks to the rotation of the earth, Santa has more time than children might initially think. Standing on the International Date Line, moving from east to west and crossing different time zones, Santa has not just 10 hours to deliver his presents (from 8 p.m., when children go to bed, until 6 a.m., when they wake up), but an extra 24 hours— 34 hours in all……………………………
Santa accomplishes his task by traveling at close to the speed of light.By traveling that fast, Santa can deliver all his presents with time left over to polish off the cookies and milk left for him on the kitchen tables.
And, as Einstein’s theory goes, the closer you travel to the speed of light, time slows down. I also believe that if you can travel faster than the speed of light, time then reverses, thereby making time travel possible.
Time travel— no. Two divergent problem patterns arise— if the Einstein application of speed and mass apply, then your mass becomes greater the faster you go, thus exceeding the speed of light would create the big bang, and, more importantly, we now know that “the speed of light” does not exist. Some wave lengths are faster than others, and we have been able to actually reduce the speed of light to a total standstill.
This is key to the unified field theory, in that speed and mass are related AND that energy, matter, and light are all the same things, just at different speeds and wave functions.
Personally, I believe Santa gets an exemption from the rules of the universe.
If mass becomes greater the faster you go, I think I will sit down and have some eggnog ,with a little Eagle Rare. That should make my mass lighter. You think so? Merry Christmass to all.
With a keen appreciation for puns and an off-beat sense of humor, Dana Summers creates a hilarious and bizarre new world in each panel of Bound and Gagged.
Bottomliners by Eric and Bill Teitelbaum
Break of Day by Nate Fakes
Comments (12) (Please sign in to comment)
simpsonfan2 said, 5 months ago
Tom Stucker just passed 10,000,000 miles on United.
poppy1313
said, 5 months ago
He has to move fast too
poppy1313
said, 5 months ago
Santa has a major delivery problem. There are some 2 billion children in the world expecting Christmas presents. Assuming an average of 2.5 children per household, then, Santa has to visit about 800 million homes scattered about the globe…………………………………
Thanks to the rotation of the earth, Santa has more time than children might initially think. Standing on the International Date Line, moving from east to west and crossing different time zones, Santa has not just 10 hours to deliver his presents (from 8 p.m., when children go to bed, until 6 a.m., when they wake up), but an extra 24 hours— 34 hours in all……………………………
Santa accomplishes his task by traveling at close to the speed of light.By traveling that fast, Santa can deliver all his presents with time left over to polish off the cookies and milk left for him on the kitchen tables.
Jo Clear said, 5 months ago
I believe…I believe…I belieave….
AshburnStadium said, 5 months ago
@poppy1313
And, as Einstein’s theory goes, the closer you travel to the speed of light, time slows down. I also believe that if you can travel faster than the speed of light, time then reverses, thereby making time travel possible.
battle of plattsburgh said, 5 months ago
Warp-9.
Comet to Santa: I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captn.
whmIII said, 5 months ago
His on-time record still beats all the airlines…hands down!!!
colcam said, 5 months ago
@AshburnStadium
Time travel— no. Two divergent problem patterns arise— if the Einstein application of speed and mass apply, then your mass becomes greater the faster you go, thus exceeding the speed of light would create the big bang, and, more importantly, we now know that “the speed of light” does not exist. Some wave lengths are faster than others, and we have been able to actually reduce the speed of light to a total standstill.
This is key to the unified field theory, in that speed and mass are related AND that energy, matter, and light are all the same things, just at different speeds and wave functions.
Personally, I believe Santa gets an exemption from the rules of the universe.
It makes my head hurt less.
Merry Christmas to all, and a happy new year!
.
Kokopelli said, 5 months ago
If mass becomes greater the faster you go, I think I will sit down and have some eggnog ,with a little Eagle Rare. That should make my mass lighter. You think so?
Merry Christmass to all.
Ron
said, 5 months ago
Haven’t any of you Christmas clowns ever heard of magic?
MamaMaureen said, 5 months ago
You tell them, Ron! It’s magic, pure and simple.
Tatenda said, 5 months ago
@Ron
Snerk!