SAM’S SCHOOL for SUPERVILLAINSBayonne, NJMEMORANDUMTO: The PresidentFROM: Charles Kingfish, Law Professor (and secret legal advisor to Sam’s School for Supervillains)Sir,At your request, my colleagues and I have reviewed the case of Mr. Anson Vail, an applicant to the school. It is our unanimous opinion that we quite concur with your conclusion that he is an absolute and utter crackpot and wholly unsuitable for admission to the school.Where we have a potential issue is with his official status and reason for rejection. Several of my colleagues have expressed the opinion that the particular expression of his madness may not be a legal cause for rejection for much longer. As you see from the above excerpt from his file, he now claims to be Queen of the Martian Iguanas. Of course, being an absolute and utter crackpot, such claims can be dismissed now. However, societal trends being what they are, it is conceivable that an applicant could come along claiming similar things and NOT be an absolute and utter crackpot. We, therefore, are trying to determine a status for this case: Is this a transsexual? Transspecies? Transplanet? A combination of all of the above? Given the litigious nature of most people nowadays for just about anything under the sun, it is important to the school that we not be caught “flat-footed” (pardon the phrase) should such a case come along in the future.Some direction from your office would be helpful in concluding our deliberations and permitting me to get about my “front” job, namely tormenting first-year law students. (No one understands my teaching methods like you, sir.)Respectfully,Charles
SAM’S SCHOOL for SUPERVILLAINSBayonne, NJMEMORANDUMTO: The PresidentFROM: Charles Kingfish, Law Professor (and secret legal advisor to Sam’s School for Supervillains)Sir,At your request, my colleagues and I have reviewed the case of Mr. Anson Vail, an applicant to the school. It is our unanimous opinion that we quite concur with your conclusion that he is an absolute and utter crackpot and wholly unsuitable for admission to the school.Where we have a potential issue is with his official status and reason for rejection. Several of my colleagues have expressed the opinion that the particular expression of his madness may not be a legal cause for rejection for much longer. As you see from the above excerpt from his file, he now claims to be Queen of the Martian Iguanas. Of course, being an absolute and utter crackpot, such claims can be dismissed now. However, societal trends being what they are, it is conceivable that an applicant could come along claiming similar things and NOT be an absolute and utter crackpot. We, therefore, are trying to determine a status for this case: Is this a transsexual? Transspecies? Transplanet? A combination of all of the above? Given the litigious nature of most people nowadays for just about anything under the sun, it is important to the school that we not be caught “flat-footed” (pardon the phrase) should such a case come along in the future.Some direction from your office would be helpful in concluding our deliberations and permitting me to get about my “front” job, namely tormenting first-year law students. (No one understands my teaching methods like you, sir.)Respectfully,Charles