Opening Scene: Donald Trump enters the White House dining room, sits at his table throne. An attendant stands by, holding a seemingly juicy double-patty hamburger on a gold plate. Donald looks at the waiter, says, “I’ve always won, and I’m going to continue to win. And that’s the way it is.” Putting the plate and napkin on the table, the attendant says, “America will start winning again, winning like never before,” then leaves the room.
Trump takes off the top of the hamburger bun. Underneath is a Sony Walkman, maybe the last of its kind. The napkin is actually an envelope with several photos. Trump opens it and takes out the photos, spreading them on the table. He presses the side of the bun, and a disc starts to play.
“Good afternoon, President Trump. The picture you see is a highly magnified image of the Coronavirus 19. This deadly virus came from China is and is crossing international borders to make leaders look bad as it kills thousands of people. Unless effort is made to stop it, there will be a pandemic in this country, and make YOU look bad, too. It has already infected some U.S. citizens. The other photos show top infectious disease experts that know how to avoid disastrous consequences of the virus.
“Your mission, Don, should you choose to accept it, is to work with those experts to stop the disease from spreading throughout America. As always, should you or any of your team be caught or embarrassed, the White House press secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions, and then blame Democrats. This hamburger will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Don.”
Next Scene: Lalo Schifrin music to “Mission Impossible” starts to play, and the image of a lighted fuse scrolls across the screen. Members of the standard Mission Implausible team are displayed: VP Pence, Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, and Kellyanne Conway. Guest Stars are Doctors Birx and Fauci — and a cast of millions, assumed to be the Silent Majority.
April 12, 2017