Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 17, 2001
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Tragic Consequences of Civilian Joyrides Disaster struck recently when the U.S.S. Greeneville hit a Japanese fishing boat while civilian donors were at the submarine's control position. Voice #1: What's this button do? Voice #2: Whee! Batten down the poop deck! Unfortunately, doling out this type of favor is not limited to the military. Other government officials have put V.I.P.s at the control of sensitive and dangerous public apparatus, with horrific results. A well-connected civilian was at the helm of the Oval Office on January 20, 2001 when presidential pardons were granted. Hugh: This is so cool! So I just use this seal here and this pardon application is approved? Bill Clinton: Whoa! Careful with that, Hugh! Aw, how'm I gonna explain THIS? And civilian donors from credit card companies were at the drafting table when the Bankruptcy Reform Act of 2000 was being written. Man: Let's make it easier for credit card companies to recover from bankrupt individuals -- at the expense of mothers trying to get child support payments! Not many people know that the Supreme Court actually installed a Republican party loyalist as president for a four-year boondoggle! George W. Bush: Tax cuts for the rich! Oil drillin' for my buddies! Yeehah! I's the president!
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